I’ve been in a funk to say the least for the last month or more. I realized very recently that the cause was pretty simple. I burned the candle at both ends throughout the CrossFit season trying to balance training and work. Although I took a couple weeks off from training right after the CrossFit Games, between having surgery, catching up and traveling for work, moving, a birthday, and the tornado of a perspective check that happened when a great friend & teammate was injured, the result was never letting myself recover mentally.
So I tried some new things (mainly channeling my inner Ronda Rousey.. get punched in the face for the first time and realizing that I kind of love grappling.. ‘it only takes what to put someone to sleep?!’), and got back into other favorites (yoga!). I took a step back, remove expectations I’d place on myself and remind myself of why I started CrossFit and why I still love training. Hint: it’s not to make the CrossFit Games, or even to compete at all. I’ve been an athlete, of some sort, the majority of my life, and my motivation has always been intrinsic.
Then came a friendly reminder:
Don’t ask ‘what do I want to do?’. Ask, ‘how do I want to feel?’
I do all these things because they make me feel good! They’re fun, and there’s a unique joy that comes with knowing that you gave everything you have to be your personal best. The reward is not standing on a podium, making a team, or having a top score on the whiteboard for the day. Yeah those are great if they happen, but they mean nothing if that’s what it takes for you to feel good, to feel good enough.
I forgot that for a minute (or many minutes) recently.
I’ve very glad I’ve been reminded.
[Cheesy.. yes. True.. completely.]