Types of Strong

Posted By on Nov 18, 2013 | 6 comments


I’ve received more odd comments in the last couple weeks about my appearance than every before.

Most of the time the comments are meant to be complimentary in nature, and I do my best to take them as such, but sometimes they don’t come across that way, and on rare occasion they are purposely hurtful. Recently I had such an experience, but it ended up being a great thing…

So This Guy Walked into a Bar..

I was hanging out with friends at a bar when a man boy (guessing mid-20′s, but anyone who is such a jerk does not get the title of ‘man’ in my book), who clearly works out himself, came up to me and started teasing me about my “size.” Literally the first thing out of his mouth was “wow, you have really broad shoulders.” I chuckled, “ahh yeah,” hoping he’d move on. But no. To be honest I don’t remember the specific comments, but suffice to say when he finally walked away I was shocked, felt like I might cry, and my friend who was listening to the whole thing was equally astonished. My friend asked me if I was ok and I of course said ‘yes,’ but I wasn’t. I was about to just leave (and maybe actually start crying) when I thought to myself, “wtf! who they hell does this jackass think he is? are we in elementary school? not ok!’. So basically I turned from upset to pissed in about 30 seconds. I walked up to him at the bar, tapped him on the shoulder and calmly said.. (yes really.. not exact, but pretty close)

Me: Did you walk in here, look at me, and think, “Well, I think I’ll go be mean to her, and really make her feel shitty about herself.’”

Boy: (stuttering) ahhh

Me: You don’t know me! You don’t know my story or how your words will effect me. Maybe I’m really insecure about how I look. WTF is wrong with you?

Boy: “ahh, I didn’t mean..”

Me: Yes you did!

Boy: Yeah I did.

Me: Why? Seriously? I don’t understand.

Boy: ahh, I.. ahh

Meanwhile my friend, who I should add is extremely fit and a fighter (as in MMA), is watching, and I think trying not to laugh. I say this because I’m not a complete idiot to put myself in a potentially dangerous situation. I knew my friend had my back this whole time.

Boy:  ahh.. I’m sorry.

Me: Good! You should be!

Boy: I am!

Boy proceeds to buy my friends and me a round of shots, and later comes up and asks me out (yeah, for real.. then texted multiple times over the course of the weekend). I did what any passive aggressive lady would do.. I never responded.

Types of Strong

This whole experience really made me think. First, not going to lie, I was proud of myself for going up to that jerk. That is definitely not something I would have done in past years. I know I’ve become stronger not just physically, but mentally and emotionally over the past year.

I realized that I’m spoiled. I spend a good majority of my time around seriously strong, bad ass woman, and supportive, awesome men (yes, also seriously strong). In CrossFit, strength of all types is developed and commended. I am use to be around these sorts of folks and apparently forget that the beauty of female strength in all it’s forms is not yet the norm and that some people are taken aback by it.

So why am I writing all this? ahh I’m not entirely sure, beyond the fact that it clearly left a mark. Wish I could say I didn’t give it a second thought, but the truth is I definitely was feeling a bit self-conscious the rest of the weekend.

Now, don’t get me wrong.. I don’t mind my physique, not at all, I worked hard for it after all, and I’ve come a long way to being at a point where I focus on getting stronger not skinnier.

But just like with training, there are good days and not as awesome days psychologically  (no bad) .

Appropriately, I ran across this fantastic article recently too:

10 Things Not to Say to a Female Lifter

My favorite line, “I don’t say you look so rested because you sit around doing nothing ALL THE TIME.” tehehe

Still working on the moral of this little story, but so glad to be a part of the most amazing STRONG community!
Poison Ivy Fitness Routine

6 Comments

  1. I’m so glad you stood up for yourself! Silent judgement is bad, but to just go up to someone and put down their appearance…I don’t get it! I realize as I’ve become more confident with myself, that I’ve become less judgemental. So it must be true that these haters are projecting their self doubts on others!

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  2. Good Read. Everyone has their insecurities, and some people say things to intentionally hurt others in order to make themselves feel better. I’m glad you called him out on it. Keep being you, you are awesome at it!

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  3. I think noticeable strength in a woman’s body represents a level of courage that makes some men uncomfortable. You have clearly been willing to endure some uncomfortable challenges to earn your physique and your courage to endure, your courage to speak up, and your courage to fight on is probably something he lacks so he went back to elementary school tactics where he felt most comfortable. There will alway be haters, just recognize them for the haters they are and let it roll down your back Alyson.

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  4. Gah! I miss you so much! I’m so thrilled that you stood up for yourself, because the Al I lived with back in the day would have held in her frustration and eventually moved on from it….sort of. You’re beautiful and amazing, and while I am endlessly impressed by your physical achievements, I’m actually referring to your heart. I think it’s funny, but not so much a coincidence, that he kept asking you out after you stood up for yourself–he got a glimpse of the confident and beautiful person you really are. And, I love your shoulders–screw that guy. ;)

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  5. You tell an awesome story my daughter! I am so very proud of you, you did handle that very well, and perhaps did the guy a big favor in the lesson you taught him.(next time he may have mistakenly picked on a martial artist) You are strong in every sense of the word.You did inherit your broad shoulders and narrow hips from your mother after all.HA Good for you!

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  6. Way to go Allison !! He probably didn’t deserve an once of your attention but he definitely needed to be put in his place. Darn right.. Who do these guys think they are.. And then he asked you out? Classic! You deserve better but Im sure you hopefully know that sister !

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